Arbitrary Moments Of Senility, With Larry King
A catch-all thread for random thoughts may be a bad idea, but if it gets out of hand I can always pull the plug on it…
So generally this will be a junk drawer for randomness that *doesn’t* fit in existing threads & *doesn’t* have potential as threads on their own. So no slacking. Use the search bar to see if your comment fits somewhere else & don’t be a wuss if you have something new & good you really wanna post & you think it’ll work as a new topic. Or at the very least suggest it to me in the Topic Pool, which has received very little love pretty much all year. Coincidentally, I have two posts queued up that are straight from the Topic Pool. (Oh, there’s a queue, baby. Quagmire: “Does this look like a Q to you? How about now?”)
Your treat for reading this post is the following collection of Larry King (Norm MacDonald) quotes:
This is News and Views, here’s my two cents, gang..
Sudden thought: When did sugar diabetes become plain old diabetes? Nothing is as consistently funny on the tube as the TV show “Becker.” Actress Melanie Griffith: One class act! If you only see one film the rest of your life it should be “Mickey Blue Eyes.” The more I think about it, the more I appreciate the equator. I dined with O. J. Simpson in Los Angeles last week and, take it from me, folks, the Juice is still a hero wherever he goes. Red wine is a terrific wine, but so is white wine! Sudden thought, gang. I have no compassion for anyone who commits rape.
ISSUE NUMER ONE (I know, I’m already switching from Larry King to the McLaughlin Group) — I like the health food stores (Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, etc.) but I don’t care for hippies. I do care for Apple Jacks a great deal though…
I’ve never seen the appeal of these so called “health food stores” – Wild Oats, Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, and the like. I like my food to not taste like dirt and not crawling with bugs. There is a reason pesticide exists. I like my food to be heavily processed and preserved.
Did you realize that on Wednesday of this week,
>
> at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the
> morning,
>
> the time and date will be
>
> 01:02:03 04/05/06?
>
> This won’t ever happen again..!
>
I never realized until lately how much i love swiss cheese.
oh and the “health food stores” suck
again those were my comments, i like to think on my computer if i’m logged on it is me who’s logged on.
so scott log off dude, unless you want me to keep this stuff up.
Ok, so since this is a thread for complete randomness…here’s my problem. The people that live above me are really heavy walkers. Half the time I think they’re running laps up there. They stomp so hard up there they make my light fixtures shake. It drives me crazy (especially when I’m trying to sleep)! Any tips on how I can make them stop, get even, take them out, etc.? Let me know!
I had this problem when I lived in the Victorian Village — nice place to live, but you wouldn’t wanna go queer there. No really, being the naive country boy that I wish I still was, I had no idea that Victorian Village was the German Village north of 70. After I moved, the guys I worked w/ at CIS (no, it’s not called that anymore) told me horror stories of effeminate bandits who roamed Goodale Park (I lived across from it) & how they would likely assault me with a 2-litre bottle…
But I digress… So I had trouble w/ the peeps up above me. Same deal. A lot of (I assume) prancing & whatnot at all hours of the night. The building I lived in was very old & sweet like that, so even w/ my condor wings I had to stand on the bed & bang on the ceiling with the broom handle. No dice. Eventually I stomped up the flight of stairs, banged on the door… *hushed voices* Never heard a peep again. I puffed oot my chest & walked back down. Cock of the walk. *ehem* So to speak.
ISSUE NUMBER TWO: I don’t really think this deserves a thread of its own but it’s been on my mind for quite a while:
I don’t care where you’ve been! I am so sick of the white, oval stickers indicating some place that the person in front of me has visited that they assume I haven’t. Here’s the main point: If the Carolina Outer-Banks were really the wild, wild west of the east coast that everybody claims it is, & such an “insider” thing, I wouldn’t be seeing an OBX sticker on every freaking minivan I get stuck behind!!!
Here’s the new cool. You ready? You go somewhere & you *don’t* mark up your vehicle b/c of it. Got it? Dorky is the new cool. Trust me, I’ve been doing it a lot longer than you have. (Yes, that was a spin on the “I Snowboarded Before You” bumpersticker we all just *loved*)
FYI — the exemption to this is whatever CZ stands for b/c Czarina is lucky enough to have a cool name & handle like Cz, so she can get a personalized oval sticker that stands for her name. But that had better be the only one I see…
Has anybody seen the commercial on G4 for the upcoming E3 Expo featuring the spoof of the Greatest American Hero theme song? Does anybody know if that’s The Dan Band in it? (You may remember them as the wedding band who sang Total Eclipse of the Heart in the movie Old School.)
I can’t stand hippies. Talk about people with no sense of reality. Grow up, people, the world doesn’t work the way you think it does, and acting as you do just makes the rest of us waste our time.
At least somebody else knows where I’m coming from.
Ok so I’m going to sound cold here…but what is with the latest celebrity fad about all these abuse stories. I mean it seems like it’s one right after the other from Tom Cruise (the actor not the inventer of the hoveround) to Meredith Viera. It all seems like they have to out do one another. I mean I’m not against sharing stories to raise awareness…but it’s a little weird that these are all coming out now.
Don’t buy tabloids, don’t know what you’re talking about.
Well played though.
Wait, so Maverick was abused? Total shocker.
(see, Bill? I know your “Iceman” and his friends…)
Have you tried beating your ceiling with a broomstick, while yelling keep it down up there?
looking at the list of accumulated keywords, my favorite has to be “pissy”
Listen up, gang:
This whole Duke lacrosse situation is really getting annoying…
1) People are murdered every day in this country, and somehow it seems very wrong that the murder of “Jon Benet” got a million times more coverage than that of Joe-Blow-who-was-shot-in-the-’hood. Similarly, people are raped all the time, and I don’t think it’s beneficial to anyone to give one case so much coverage, just because we’re a sports-obsessed culture.
2) If SportsCenter would normally cover college lacrosse, then it would be understandable if they obsessed about this just like news media. But if not, it’s as stupid for them to do it as if they would report on the rising cost of crude oil, or something similarly non-sports-related.
I have to share a story about the stupid things people do. In this story, this person may or maynot be me.
L. walked into her office Thursday morning with files and dog in tow at 8:30. L. had a doctor’s appointment at Noon that day and remembered around 11:55. She searched frantically for her keys. L. goes to her car to see not only the keys locked in the car, but the car running as well. L. feels like a dumb a$$. L.’s co-worker calls AAA while L. takes different car to dr. AAA guy laughs at L.
Please feel free to laugh at L.’s expense. Also, please feel free to share your silly car stories.
Let’s call her Lisa S. No, that’s too obvious. Let’s say L. Simpson.
I’m only laughing at you, I mean L., because you gave me permission. That’s hilarious. L. must have an extremely quiet car or an extemely loud dog. And what a jerk the AAA guy was. Like he’s never done the exact same thing.
So the phone rings this morning, I don’t recognize the number but I answer anyway. Here’s the conversation, beginning w/ my usual salutation when I don’t know who it is or haven’t taken the time to glance at the number:
Of course I won’t be so racist as to assume that was an African American on the other end…
Google just launched Google Trends, which is kinda cool. Basically, you search for a series of words (comma-delimited) and it returns trends of searches made elsewhere in Google. It breaks it down by city, region, language, etc.
Interestingly enough:
http://www.google.com/trends?q=french%2C+german
Switzerland, noted for its neutrality, has a much higher “German” search rate than “French”. May want to avoid Alsace during prime warring season.
Anywho, have fun. And don’t forget: they stole this idea from Google Fight!
I just wanna say that I’m extremely happy to hear that some of my white friends are answering their phone w/ “holla at me.” (See two comments up)
So, I was sitting in the dentist chair today pondering the big questions in life…what to eat for dinner, what I should wear tomorrow, etc. Then I wondered what other people think about in the dentist chair…Please share. Also, I’m curious to know if people keep theirs eyes open or do you close them? What’s proper? And one last dentist point, who else finds it annoying when the chick tries to carry on a conversation while she’s cleaning your teeth? I mean come on lady, you’re poking my gums as the spit sucker thing sucks every last drop of moisture out of my mouth. How am I supposed to comment on your kids or god awful white shoes?!
While at the dentist last month, the
hygienhyginicleaning lady was wearing a hard plastic full-face mask (like a welder’s mask that you could see through). Half way through she says to me “OK, I gotta know what you’re staring at.” Me, I was looking at the reflection in her mask as she’s poking around my mouth. Of course to her, it looks like I’m focusing on some imaginary wart on the side of her face.So the real question is, if they didn’t try to engage us in wierd one-sided conversation, what would the cleaners think about all day? Apparently, mine is kinda paranoid.
& Seth puts a nice spin on the question…
Me? I usually just close my eyes & think about how gross it would be to have that job.
Tagging onto Bill’s issue number two…
As I was pulling out of my parking spot this morning, I notice the car parked next to me had a “baby on board” sign hanging in the back window. First, I think those signs are stupid. Does it really make a difference? Second, those signs usually resemble caution signs. They’re made of yellow plastic with black lettering and no bigger than six inches or so. Well, my friends, this one was homemade. Yes, 8.5 x 11, printed and designed (I’m assuming) by the driver. And not only did it say “baby on board” it had some lovely clip art babies and smiley faces to go along with it.
Did anybody else read SkySeer as SkyNet? If anybody should see the dangers in this, it’s The Terminator. What’s he thinkin?
This pretty much just applies to the Columbus patrons of this site… So in various places along 270 and other busy road ways ODOT has installed the electronic road signs. Only once have I been informed of something worthwhile (like an accident). Every other time it just says test message. I’m tired of the test message. It obviously works now, stop testing it. If there aren’t traffic issues to report tell me some Ohio trivia or the temperature or something fun like that. The test message really annoys me.
I have been testing the exact same complaint for months, I just hadn’t gotten around to considering it a stable complaint in order to speak out.
Stupidest headline of the Month: “Kidman gets Urbanized”
Men, when in public, especially when in a position of leadership, should not wear sleeveless shirts. Worse yet, T-shirts they have cut the sleeves off of to make it sleeveless. Oh, and to top that, if you are over 40, you should not wear an Abercromie sleeveless T-shirt. I came to realize this as the director of the musical I’m working on was giving his notes to the cast. ArMpit hair is gross. I don’t want to see it. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t take my eyes away. It’s like when you’re driving by a car crash, you don’t want to look but you can’t take your eyes away. I think if you choose to wear sleeveless shirts, you should shave your pits – male and especially female. That’s all.
Wouldn’t Coca-Cola be okay to drop the “Classic” at this point? I mean, there isn’t such a thing as “new” Coke anymore, right?
As a French woman, which I am not, I take issue with Lisa’s post.
I can’t begin to tell you how confusing The Hunt For Red October was on HBO Latino…
Today I saw a car that had in the rear windshield “In Memory of……. 1981-2004″ And they put the friend or family member’s name in there. This is the third car I have seen in one weekend. Not to sound insensitive, but it makes it sound like they are dedicating the car to their loved one or something.
Listen up gang: For my money, the best recent fastfood sandwich is Burger King’s Double Stacker.
I had a triple stacker the other day i imagine it was even better than the double stacker.
And what in the world is “stacker sauce”
One of your loyal readers made the news! I’m upset they took out the questions about my favorite Web site, “Oh that’s easy, bill-johnson.com. It’s my inspiration.”
Everytime I say the word “mayonnaise” in my head, I hear it in the voice of the lead singer from Group X. Like with the accent in the wrong place and some extra “ss-ss” sounds near the end.
Mayo-naiss-sse.
NG
Just thought you’d all like to see what everyone’s favorite 80s celebrity is doing nowadays...
– I am just now reading this (“I don’t get out much.”) & I must say it just cracked me up….not that anyone cares. :)
Today I am tired and grumpy. Why? Thanks for asking. First let me reference my previous post on here:
Key words in that post trying to sleep. So last night at about 3:30 a.m. I woke up to stomping and what sounded like furniture moving. Oh and to top it off they were running the vacuum for oh, about 30 minutes. Yeah, this lasted until about 6 a.m. During that time I got to enjoy laying in bed listening to that ruckus, listening to that ruckus make my ceiling fan rattle and plotting evil ways to cause them pain. I really, really dislike them.
Evil ways to destroy them would be appreciated. Maybe NavajoGodfather could rally the tribe (not the baseball team) and scalp them or something. NG, you up for that?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you can only solicit the help of a godfather on his daughter’s wedding day. Now kiss the ring…
Scalping is so messy – we really try to avoid that anymore. Plus, nobody is impressed by a nice collection of scalps anymore. A respectable number of scalps in your tent used to mean something, you know?
I guess I could like, make it rain real hard over their apartment. Of course that would be over your apartment too. I could try for inside their apartment, but that’s a little trickier.
As an alternative solution, I could offer you some medicinals that will have you drop right off to sleep regardless of what’s happening in the apartment above. Or in the same room. The hallucinations are an added bonus at no extra charge.*
NG
*not responsible for clients finding themselves wandering in the desert
I think NG’s been hittin the firewater pretty hard…
Oh mighty NavajoGodfather, many thanks for the medicinals. Not only did I drift right off to sleep, the neighbors moved out this morning! Your powers are amazing. I don’t know how to repay you. If you ever need help doing an infomercial to promote your mad skillz, I’ll help you market it. Oh, and I’ll be one of your testimonials too.
Heh. That’s pretty funny. I guess that explains the late-night, last-minute cleaning too. Well good for Lisa, & hopefully that’ll mean better nights’ sleep. I guess I’ll give NG some props too. Way to take a break from your gambling & drinking & pretend to solve Lisa’s problem.
i just kind o frandomly raninto this and thought it was funny
“If you’re brain-dead and hooked up to life support, it doesn’t matter if you die or not, just as long as you try your best. That’s all anyone can ask.”
Wow, that’s an old one…
from david letterman:
Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Ordering The Burger King Quad Stacker
10. “Are my papers in order?”
9. “Can I get it supersized?”
8. “Will I have time to run 298 miles to burn off the calories?”
7. “Could this have anything to do with why the rest of the world hates us?”
6. “Should I talk to my doctor about Lipitor?”
5. “Can I get it on a low-carb bun?”
4. “How come there isn’t any sausage on this bad boy?”
3. “Why is Burger King making me sign a release form?”
2. “Should I wait til they come out with the ‘Quint Stacker’?”
1. “Do I have my cardiologist on speed dial?”
So, if you know my mom (very straight-laced, serious, old fashioned) you’d appreciate this (sorry if this isn’t the right spot for this)
Scene: A very beautiful young woman and her mother are driving around a condo community off of Old Bethel Road. The young woman is driving a very sexy blue Ford Contour, her mother is riding along.
Young Woman: See, I don’t know if I like the looks of this community as much as I like the other. It’s not kept up as well.
Mom: Yes, I agree. I mean look at the people. Oh, Lisa, look at that couple.
(She points to a young bleached blonde with her midriff showing and a young African American man with dreadlocks and a lot of gold jewelry)
Mom: You can’t live here. Those people look like gang-stahs.
Lisa: LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
funny, although i prefer to call them gangsters, emphasis on the “er”
that lets teh kids know i am down.
also i don’t like the parent teacher conferences i’m here til 7pm and really not much to do
Well there’s always plenty to do on bill-johnson.com.
Seriously, people… Did any of you do any actual work today? Sheesh. Busy day here at the ol site… I feel sorry for visitors who don’t check that often. Gonna be a lot to get caught up on.
(Keep it comin though)
Kevin says:
Gangsta != Gangster
Gangster = organized crime, extortion, bribery, political corruption. Gangsters run their criminal operations as a business. Nice suits & large sums of money passed under all sorts of tables.
Gangsta = smack talk and general thuggery typical of the activities present in such phenomena as the east coast west coast war.
Reprehensible criminals all – the difference, my friends, is class.
Stinky, you’re clearly forgetting the pimp factor:
Take it from me, folks: the skateboard is a terrible mode of transportation.
Listen up, gang: nothing chaps me more than people collecting money for charity at intersections. I don’t care if you’ve got a boot, helping kids, fighting fires, or whatever. There’s a time and a place, and it’s not while I’m driving and it’s not in the middle of a busy intersection…
I’m particularly fond of the ones that are selling pixi sticks and bottled water.
Here’s a little puzzle I swiped from another site. You colour blind types may as well not even bother…
I’ll post the answers in a bit, so as to help keep you compulsive cheaters from looking right now.
Well i know two right off the bat….JIF and Pepsi are reversed.
Okay, here are the answers to the logo puzzle above:
1) WRONG (the blue and red in the circular logo are reversed)
2) WRONG (the green and red are reversed)
3) RIGHT
4) RIGHT
5) RIGHT
6) RIGHT
7) RIGHT
8) WRONG (the purple and orange are reversed)
9) WRONG (the four colors are mixed up)
10) RIGHT
I knew JIF was wrong, & I suspected Pepsi was upsidedown, but I wasn’t sure about all the others. I figured MLB was right though…
http://www.intechra.com/
I saw this store and it reminded me of Jerry Seinfeld’s monologue:
“I like the names they have for cars. Like, no baron has ever owned a LeBaron. Or the Ford LTD. ‘LTD.’ Limited. It’s a ‘limited’ edition…what did they make, fifty million of those? “Yes, it’s ‘limited’ to the number we can sell.” Or when they try and mangle a positive word into a car name, you know how they’ll do that? The ‘Integra.’ Oh, integrity? No, Integra. The ‘Supra.’ Or the ‘Impreza.’ Yeah? Well, I hope it’s not a ‘lemona’…or you’ll be hearing from my ‘lawya’.”
Ok, this isn’t so much of a thought as an occurance – but I did feel that I needed to share it with someone. Someone other than my arch-nemesis that is, who just happened to be with me when I saw it.
I was walking into work when I noticed something furry hanging just above the door. I looked a little closer and noticed a little bat cling to the ledge sleeping (or possibly dead – we were unable to determine). Of course [arch-nemesis] Josh’s first impulse is to poke at it while uttering “I wonder if it has rabies?”.
Now in addition to a pet monkey, I also want a bat. They are so cute when they are sleeping (or dead).
One of my friends rescued an injured fruit bat on the OSU campus and raised it in his single for about 2 months. It was the coolest disease-ridden flying rodent I’ve ever seen. It would crawl around on his arms before it could fly, and just before he released it back into the wild, he’d let it practice flying around his room.
Didn’t have rabies, as far as I know.
And the circle is complete! Everything I was able to do off-line is now on the internets!
I’ll have to let my mom know that she can start reimbursing you guys through PayPal now.
I’m torn b/c I want to support my old elementary school (who could use the money and the new piano) but I really don’t wanna encourage the %random_word% Idol naming scheme…
Okay, so apparently local feel-good radio station Sunny 95 is in the middle of a Christmas Idol (cringe) competition involving area schools. It looks like little Millersport Elementary has made it to the showdown (against London).
So vote for Millersport here today, before midnight. (They announce the results in the morning.)
It looks like Sunny 95 lets you vote as many times as you want, although the site does give you a cookie. I don’t see anything in the source that would suggest they aren’t accepting multiple votes from the same browser though, so go ahead. (Maybe someone nerdier than I can confirm.) At the very least you should be able to vote from each browser on each machine you own. If you care enough. Seriously, why do you hate little kids so much?
Okay, maybe the Sunny 95 contest is a daily thing? I assumed since there were only two contestants it was down to the final two or something. Anyway, continue voting every freaking day or something. I think I’ve lost interest… Why do I hate little kids so much?
I hate orphans.
I like them now.
Bill mentioned in an earlier post that his old elementary school was in the Christmas Idol running on Sunny 95…well, my high is also in the running (they will pick a winner from elementary, middle and high schools). So please go to http://www.sunny95.com and vote for Marysville High School. Thanks!
Can someone please explain to me how the “Support Our Troops” bumper stickers actually support our country’s troops?
Have you ever seen someone buy a pack of cigerettes then before they get one out they smack the box about ten times? Whats up with that. And let me tell you there is nothing sexier than a woman who does that. Smack that box of cigerettes b****.
So you know how they do those introductions on NFL games…they have the starting lineup state their name and college for the record: “Ben Roethlisberger, Miami; Gerry Ford, Michigan; Joseph Blow, Ball State; etc.”
Well, they were doing the Cowboys, and I could swear one of them was, “Bobby Carpenter, The Ohio State.” Ugh.
Well, it looks like Barbaro will have to be put down. I’ll start. Barbaro, you suck. Horse racing is not a sport. Gambling is a waste of money. Oats don’t taste good.
Am I supposed to know what this means?
Nah. If the context clues don’t give it away, you could altavista it. Not that it’s funny enough to be worth it.
Since this is a random thread, I’d like to point out how sweet it is that Napoleon Dynamite is finally on TV. My faveaurite part this time around is NP drinking that sports drink after he practices dancing. The force with which he brings it up to his mouth is completely unnecessary.
Yeah, it’s like whiplash or something. Or the weight of that tight curl just slams his head back once it tilts back far enough.
That was pretty funny, esp the oats.
Yes, you should. :)
Okay, but I just think a quick link might be in order sometimes if you’re not gonna explain something that might be considered obscure to some…
I can’t stand it when this happens in a movie or show or commercial or whatever:
Somebody does something that’s unexpectedly good and the crowd seems unsure how to respond. Then one person stands up and starts clapping *very slowly* and people start joining in until, clapping faster and faster, the entire crowd is standing and going crazy.
I puke a little in my mouth whenever that happens.
there was a movie or a commercial where someone kept doing that and no one else would clap along, until like the 3rd or 4th time. i thought it was funny.
then in one of our teachers meetings one of the teachers made an awkward speech and no one did the clap thing but when we were at lunch later on we talked about howfunny it would have been if some one would have done it.
Sometimes that will happen in church (without the going crazy part). I generally dislike applause in church, especially if it involves clapping for a newly baptized baby or puttin’ yer hands together “for” JEESUS!. But regardless of individual viewpoints, get together as a congregation and pick whether the performance is for God or for man, and go with it. Marlowe made the good point that sometimes when his choir performs he’ll get what sounds like pity applause.
Clapping in church is a little weird. The focus should be to God not the choir/band/soloist etc. I withdraw from clapping as a personal decision but it doesn’t bother me too much that others do.
[Well, it looks like Barbaro will have to be put down. I’ll start. Barbaro, you suck. Horse racing is not a sport. Gambling is a waste of money. Oats don’t taste good.]
For no better way to put it. I’ll finish. Scott, you suck. Horse racing is a gentlemens sport. Gambling is entertaining and not a waste of money. What in the world is wrong woth oats. Oatmeal cookies are tasty. Especially with little cranberries in them.
All humor aside, I really do enjoy horse racing. They are a beautiful animal and it is truly a competitive sport. Unlike Nascar (which is considered a sport) the jockey and horse must work together and develop a rhythem to conserve not only their postion but their strength. It is not all about who is the fastest that day. It is probably the most exciting 2 minutes in sports period. Barbaro’s performance in the Kentucky Derby was an instant classic. In no time ever before (first one was in 1875 by the way making it the oldest sporting event in american history) has a horse dominated the derby field the way that Barbaro did. It was a truly galant effort onhis behalf. If you have a negative feeling towards horse racing I would bet it is because you never got a chance to experience it.
Yes Bill you should know who Barbaro is….He has captured the hearts of millions. No horse has won the Triple crown since Affirmed did it in 1978. Barbaro had that chance. It would have rivaled the Boston Red Sox winning the World Series. Show some respect for a fallen sports legend.
Slow clap doesn’t bother me. I love it in the new BW3’s commercials.
Harv, that made me dizzy… And yet I slowly clap in response. Who’s with me?
All this clapping in church stuff makes me this of this old thread.
This one goes out to Stinky…
I won’t argue the merits of the sport of kings (bowling), but I will stick up for the Cincinnati Red Stockings by saying that they’ve been playing baseball continually since 1869er.
I agree I’m not big on the hand clapping especially during a sermon, and I even go to a pentecostal church. But I’ll watch John Hagee on TV (who I think is awesome), but there will be a pause after something is said during his sermon as if its time for the congregation to clap or something.
I also really dislike the popular phrase, “give the Lord a clap offering”. Yes, give the Lord praise, but a “clap offering”? What the heck.
Question: Should Don Imus be fired?
Answer: Who is don imus?
this could be the quote of the day but i’ll put it here instead
this little gem was written on the chalk board in the boys lockerroom yesterdeay.
“How ironic is it that our male students are out of elementary and still don’t know how to flush?”
it wasn’t signed by anyone but i assume it was signed by “the janitors”
I wrote it, Kev.
This whole Don Imus thing is getting blown way up. Geesh.
As insensitive as it sounds I am tired of hearing any story that has to do with Anna Nicol Smith or Paternity tests. I can’t turn on the tv or radio without it being the center of attention. I understand this baby is worth like a bazillion dollars but there really are more important things out there to hear about
A handful of these are great — http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/multimedia/photo_gallery/0705/gallery.caught.inthe.act2/content.1.html
So, the color of my hair may not be completely natural. Shocking, I know. I’ve been coloring my hair since 10th grade. I’ve also been swimming on vacation and every summer since then.
Well, this past week in Miami I was enjoying swimming in the pool. On Wednesday, after spending the day swimming and laying in the sun, I got ready to take a shower and through the foggy mirror my hair had a blue/green tint to it. I thought my eyes were messed up from being in the sun all day. I wash my hair, get out of the shower, check my hair out again and sure enough it’s a lovely shade of aqua. Not all over (thank goodness) but some highly defined strips. Eric, my co-worker who was vacationing with me, thought it was hilarious. I did not.
As soon as I get back to town, I call my hair stylist. She can’t get me in until Tuesday. Problem because I have a black-tie event tonight. Luckily my friend’s little sister is a hair stylist and squeezed me in this morning.
So, here’s a warning to those of you who’s hair color may not be au natural…chlorine turning your hair blue/green is not a myth. My colorist says to pre-treat from now on. Lesson learned.
Happy Mothers day from Mr. T with love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_rBidCkJxo
I think it would be exhausting to be goth. I have a bunch of black socks. All have been washed different numbers of times and faded, so they’re all varying shades of black at this point. It’s nearly impossible to match them. You stare at the basket & they all start looking the same until you put two on and one looks gray. & then, oh wait, that’s actually a blue sock…
I think the point you just made is that it would suck to be a goth with OCD.
most of the goth kids (or emo kids) i know don’t do their own laundry.
Dirty clothes are the external representation of the filth and decay that is the human soul.
nice, Stinky you made me cry just then. That was beautiful.
Crying is beautiful because it is the purest expression of the constant tragedy that is life.
http://bugsandcranks.com/the-clubhouse/baseball-and-mullets-an-american-tradition/
some funny stuff here. bill and kev i think will def appreciate.
http://100percentinjuryrate.blogspot.com/2007/07/dont-quit-your-day-job.html
Kev, scroll down to the bottom of the page on that link and watch the vid of the “best dunk to never make sportscenter” — SWEET!
Shaq Deisel – I wish I could say that I own this and rap to “I’m Outstanding” whenever I’m feeling blue. I can’t wait for Jerome Bettis to cut an album something like “Da Wheels on da Bus go…”
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
i think one of shaq lyrics went like this:
“forget tony danza i’m the boss”
that was apretty incredible lyric, well thought out. i’ll have to look up the song.
the song above mentioned was “what’s up doc”
anyway this made me think of my favorite songs as preformed by athletes (i consider wrestlers athletes)
5) land of 1000 dances – the wrestlers of the 80’s
4) I want to be a hulkimaniac – Hulk Hogan
3) HUlkster’s in the house – Hulk Hogan
2) Grab them Cakes – Junk Yard Dog
1) Fear da Tiger – sung by four different cincinnati bengal players music by Bootsy Collins
Am I normal? A story about male puberty. (there was a clip on ‘The soup’ which made me look for this)
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_jUnplmyPA
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zovIiMON6HU
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kVxGXfUaYg
if anyone wonders what an ER is like…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BDd0XseGtU
This clip is pretty great. The chick in it is Kate Monster from Ave Q which makes it even better.
Man, Lynn Ricart really has the L.A. face going on.
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/04/04mchoad.phtml
Can someone please tell me what the deal is with basil? (Fawlty, no.) I did some cooking yesterday and I needed about 4 cups of fresh basil. I ended up going to five different grocery stores, and even then had to resort to the little 2/3 ounce prepackaged containers of “fresh” herbs. At $2.50 a pop, I could only stomach buying five of them. (Plus that’s all they had.) Even then I was only able to make half as much (tomato basil soup) as I’d planned.
I’ll have to check with my boy, Nico, but for $12.50 (which gave me around two cups), I’m pretty sure it would’ve been cheaper to just use pot.
I had to make a quick run into the grocery store tonight but got held up because I had to explain to some lady what kosher means. Ever tried explaining that to a stranger? I almost said, you know what? You’re not Jewish, don’t worry about it.
I have never, in boo koo years of cooking, heard of using 4 cups of basil…fresh or dried. Surely this must be a typo. Should be more like 4 tablespoons. I raise basil, rosemary and parsley.
Uncle Sam did a great job.
the kdi who shot the other kid, was in my class two years ago, before he dropped out
http://www.newarkadvocate.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007708300325
http://www.newarkadvocate.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007709010303
here’s his mugshot
this is either a colossal waste of time or it is totally cool, i’ll go with the latter
http://www.yahoo.com/s/679404
VERY cool!
Hey folks, what’s the deal with soap scum? I mean, I use soap to get myself clean, but at the same time it dirties my shower…
I think we need to address this issue at the source. Stop making more and more bathroom cleaning products to remove soap scum, start making soap that doesn’t leave traces on your tub. I think those fat cats over at DOW Chemical can use some of the money I’ve given them for their tile cleaners and figure out a way to make soap that doesn’t dirty my tub. Perhaps making it out of human fat is the answer…
As soon as I get a little more motivation I’m gonna write an open letter to the food storage containers community calling for standardized lids. Why is it that I have approximately two thousand containers in my cupboard and none of them can use each other’s lids? I want Tupperware and the other big dogs of the container world to hold a summit and standardize shapes, widths, thread, latching mechanisms, etc. so we can start using these lids on all containers.
Actually, this can be my open letter. I’m sure they check here. Sign this petition by giving your screen the thumbs-up sign or something similar.
This past weekend was a bizarre one. A lot of it was due to a lack of sleep. I had to work most of the night on Friday. Things wrapped up around 4:30am but I had to be over around Easton at 8:30 to help Darren move. I got a nap in afterwards, late in the afternoon, but then was up very late Saturday night too, with a grand total of 2hrs sleep from 9am Friday until 5am Sunday morning. My body’s all confused today…
Anyway, point is Saturday morning we had to load up the truck w/ a bunch of Darren’s stuff that was in a storage facility. A couple months ago, when he & I moved his stuff into that storage unit, we got toward the end and we were afraid all his stuff wouldn’t fit. Being the determined and stubborn person that I am, I insisted it must, and so it did. I’d forgotten how glorious a packing job it was. Here’s a pic of the storage unit when we opened the door Saturday morning.
Those nutty Bristish
http://www.yahoo.com/s/729459
I was in Meijer tonight and misread the aisle labeled “Nut Snacks”
Were you all let down when you realized what it actually said?
No, but I was giggling and grinning like an idiot there in the store.
David Bowie looks hot even in a mugshot
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1108072bowie1.html
This was taken when he & Iggy Pop were arrested for pot possession. Seriously, all the cops found on them was pot.
You don’t see too many political leaders with bushy beards anymore.
http://www.nicholaswhyte.info/presbeards.htm
we basically had a lockdown this morning because of this.
Millersport school locked down briefly this morning after a mercury spill
Yeah, that’s nothing. Benner passed around mercury & let us play with it. The irony here is that some of the Millersport fire dept folks who came out for this were prob in my class with me when we were passing it around.
that is what i was thinking, i remember mr tweedle handling it once or five times.
besides i don’t think the amount in a thermometer is enough to make a school go on lockdown, but what do i know
Ha. I remember him doing this as well! We were not all about the safety in the late 80s. Paul Frederick certainly wouldn’t have called in the feds (/jk).
Kevin, glad to hear that you made it through the crisis safely.
Finally we have a reason for my lack of coordination and my “disturbed sensation.”
thanks for your concern erin, i’m not sure how we all survived, but we did.
the rumors have been flying the last two days, about how it happened and how apparently we are trying to cover up somethings. and of course every other school would’ve cancelled school for the week, but not millersport. (thats what the kids are saying not me i want to be here because i get bored at home)
http://www.newarkadvocate.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080416/NEWS01/80416023
one of my finest students just got sentenced.
did he play basketball? he looks familiar.
no, this guy was only in school for half a year maybe a little more. He didn;t participate in any school activitites, including homework, classwork.
http://www.lancastereaglegazette.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080423/NEWS01/804230322
more millersport police blotter, two ex-studewnts in this one. not huey though
Is Jared Watson Jayce Watson’s brother? Man, that kid was such a jerk (allegedly).
yeah that him
Buckeyes Got Move
some student left their history notes in my room, apparently they are studying the World War 2.
One of the “keywords” was kamikazi and next to it the student wrote “crazy japs”
thats what it looked like, i found it funy because i hate japanese.
jk
see if any of you can figure out the bonus to my exam.
it is a puzzle where every letter stands for a different letter
clue y stands for e (that doesn’t mean e stands for y)
got it kev. emailed you answer.
Me too. And you’re such a liar.
to make it challenging, Kev, maybe for the “advanced” math class, you should write it in Apache or something.
Kevin is the coolest teacher in the world, and yes I agree with you. I do think it was cute of Chris to email the answer to Kevin though.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080609/ap_on_sp_ot/rac_big_brown_dutrow
he feels like a loser because he is a loser
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWCeriGsFkA&feature=related
this guy has a bunch of clips on here, they are all just as rediculous as this one, sometimes though i laugh because i am embarassed for him, not sure how he hasn;t been fired yet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbKUfFS5iFs&feature=related
painful. that was painful. and yet for some reason, I watched it twice… and I”ll probably have the Ford Lady song in my head all evening…
there are a lot more clips of this guy.
I did some research, apparently he was fired, and was also an alcoholic, and is now in the denver area. That could all be wrong, but i read it on the internet so i assume it is true.
the ford lady song is pretty muych awesome though
My top five songs about mexico ( I heard a couple on the way home from the gym)
1) Think I’ll Go to Mexico – Gary P Nunn (i think most of you would like this song)
2) If I Find a Clean Shirt – Walyon Jennings and Willie Nelson
3) I’ve Got Mexico – Eddie Rabbitt
4) Mexico – The Refreshments
5) Ain’t No God in Mexico – Waylon Jennings
You left out Mexico by Cake. Silly Kevin.
i can;t say it is one of my favorites if i’ve never even heard of it
And you left out Refried Dreams by Tim McGraw…”I’m messed up in Mexico, livin’ on refried dreams”
Fair enough. Listen to more Cake.
Now I’m curious as to which songs about Mexico didn’t make the cut.
Refried Dreams is stupid, i’ve never been a fan of tim mcgraw
I did not mention “Blame it on mexico” by George Strait
I like Mexico by James Taylor. But maybe this should be in a different thread.
This is pretty happy (by which I mean “faggy”):
http://www.foxsports.com.au/beijing_olympics/story/0,27313,23963545-5014107,00.html
Not that anyone cares, but i benched pressed the 100 lb. dumbbells today.
It was quite a proud moment. I had to brag about it to someone, sorry.
Good job, Kev!!
this is a real gas station chain, anyone seen one before??
http://www.kumandgo.com/
this is from th ejimmy kimmel show
some of these are bad, but with a mind like mine, i laugh aat most of them.
There was one that was all sesame street, it was funny, but i could see a lot of people finding it offensive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOaoMvkWDeY&feature=related
Some say this is offensive, i say it is amazing!
Also if any olympians are reading this, don’t drink the coke
my facebook namesake has passed on
kevin duckworth
i’m pretty sad about this one
yeah, for me too. he was young, but very heavy. cause of death (besides fat)?
Three funny things happened to me at work today.
First was an elderly male patient. I introduced myself, and he said “Have I seen you before?”. I told him that was certainly possible then asked him “have you ever been here before?”. To which he replied “Yeah, but I don’t recall seeing a beautiful face like yours….” I blushed. Then I later overheard his doctor talking about how the patient had a “bad case of dementia” and was “crazy”…
Second thing that happened was a patient who came in for an altered level of consciousness induced from cocaine and narcotic abuse. He asked if he could eat something. Now mind you, when he first got to the ER he was breathing slow and we had to give him Narcan (reverses narcotics). I told him he could not eat. He kept taking off a part of his monitor equipment and it beeped everytime. One time I went in and this conversation enfolded:
“You hear that beeping? It’s because you keep taking off the equipment”.
“Yeah I know it.”
“Why do you keep doing it then”
“Because I’m hungry”
“So your stomach feels full everytime you take that thing off?”
“No, I do it because I know it pisses you off and you have to come in here everytime it beeps”.
“I told you twice already that you can’t eat yet”
“Then I’m gonna keep taking this thing off”
“Look, I’m gonna give you food when the doctor says you can eat, not when you say you can eat.”
…
“You taking that thing off your finger isn’t going to get you food.”
…
I left the room. Shortly after a nurse’s aid informed me that he was “still hungry”.
The third thing that happened was that the first thing I heard from one of my other patients upon her arrival was “I’m gonna puke”. I turn around and one of the nurses aids had vomit from her neck down to her shoes…. then the patient said “Oh man, I feel so much better.”
I’m guessing the name Boniva was turned down for ED meds and recycled.
I got some apple cider from my local grocer and it’s from Hungus Fruit Farm. So every time I reach in for some cider I see Karl Hungus Fruit Farm. Of course you may know Karl Hungus as Uli Kunkel, nihilist, German porn star, and frontman of the 70s techno-pop group, Autobahn.
If chasing kids in a cow suit and urinating on a poarch are wrong, i don;t want to be right
by the way that was one of the better mug shots you’ll ever see
Kevin, I gotta hand it to you. That article made my day. I love the line about how she appeared in court wearing her cow costume. It is not clear why she wore the costume.
All right, this is going to blow your mind. Unfortunately for the Lebowski gag, the Fruit Farm is actually Hugus. How do I know this? Because one of my relatives (2nd cousin?), Jill Peters, married one Mr. (I swear I’m not making this up, as you can see in the following link) Carl Hugus.
http://www.hugusfruitfarm.com/history.html
Scott, that did, in fact, blow my mind. I did go ahead and walk to my fridge to confirm your claim (regarding the juice I purchased, not so much your in-laws), and it does indeed say Hugus. I suppose I see what I want to see… Regardless, your cousin-in-law’s name being Carl gave this a very happy ending.
I would like to request that everyone who doesn’t subscribe to the Dispatch do so. Not so much to insure I keep my job (I probably should have left a long time ago), but so John Wolfe can stop losing money and purge the Oprah Winfrey ads from our A1. Tasteless she’s fat/she’s thin diet pun definitely intended…but I’m serious about being sick of seeing her overexposed mug every day.
But yes, Oprah needs to go away. I have no idea why she’s risen to such heights, and I too am sick of seeing her name/face slathered all over everything.
This is highly off-topic, but Oprah is an example of someone who turns me the other direction if she comes up in any context, sort of like a repellent endorsement. Take her book club, for example. I will admit that I have lost respect for books that I already liked after seeing the paperback Oprah’s Book Club edition (or whatever it’s called). You slap that little endorsement on it and I instinctively turn up my nose.
for anyone who needs something to do on wednesday night and wants to drive out to millersport
MILLERSPORT HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS HOST “FIELDS OF FAITH”
Students from Millersport High School and Junior High will be joining
thousands of other youth on athletic fields all across America on
Wednesday, October 8, 2008, 7 to 9 p.m., to share their Christian faith
with fellow students during the fifth annual “Fields of Faith” event.
This rapidly growing, interdenominational outreach event will be held
at more than 400 locations throughout the country on the same day.
While many Christian rallies are anchored to an entertainer or
professional speaker creating a spectator event, “Fields of Faith” is
structured as a student-to-student ministry. Peers invite their own
classmates and teammates to meet on their school’s athletic field to
hear fellow students share their testimonies, challenge them to read
the Bible and to come to faith in Jesus Christ.
The growth of “Fields of Faith” has been remarkable. It began with
6,000 kids on 23 fields in Oklahoma, Texas and Kansas in 2004. Three
years later, an estimated 75,000 students participated on 386 fields
all across the country during last year’s events.
While “Fields of Faith” has its roots with Fellowship of Christian
Athletes leadership, the event is designed to include multiple national
Christian organizations, ministries and church denominations. A local
leadership team, primarily of students, will determine the program of
each “Field of Faith” event. More information about “Fields of Faith”
is available at http://www.FieldsofFaith.com.
That’s really cool Kev. I never knew that existed.
I got gas at the truck stop tonight for $1.93. That’s more like it.
http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx/?news=339686>1=28101
Red paint meant to symbolize blood I understand. Flour I don’t get.
I’m curious to see how low gasoline prices will go….I got gas for $1.65.
The stereotyping department’s main job was to portray the Irish as drunkards and wife-beaters.
This is kind of funny:
http://www.courant.com/entertainment/movies/hc-10badnames.artnov14,0,3492167.story
I always thought “____ing ____” was an obnoxiously large number of movie titles, but I never knew the phenomenon had a name.
Agreed. Sample:
http://powderedwig.blogspot.com/2007/07/10-worst-movie-gerund-titles.html
There are a ton of song titles that follow that form too. It’s pretty annoying.
This PSA has sex with PSAs of the same gender. There’s apparently also one with Wanda Sykes but I figured I would spare everyone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C277qAKpUaQ
Next we won’t be able to say lame or retarded (it’s difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones).
I had lunch today with a work friend so we could each vent about the recent goings on in the ER. She told me of a very manipulative patient she recently had who was very difficult, this lady would not let her test her blood sugar unless she removed her pulse ox, or she would not let her take her blood pressure unless she got her a pillow. After having to deal with this patient all day, at one point she said she found herself turning away from the patient and thinking about what kind of immediate consequences she could have if she were to punch the lady in the face. She said “jail came to mind first”. I laughed so hard and came up with this insight:
“You know you’re an ER nurse when the thought of going to jail is the only thing that stops you from giving a patient a piece of your mind”.
I may stitch this into a pillow or something.
I have a cord pant-load of vacation next year, and I’m looking to go on a mission trip. If anyone knows of any, please let me know. It would be nice to go with some friends or acquaintances instead of just signing up for something online or whatever and going with a bunch of randoms.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123119236117055127.html?mod=yhoofront#
just so you know i have the best job in the world. Although math teacher wasn’t specifically mentioned, math teacher at millersport is the best ever. As norm macdonald would say, “for the 6th year in a row the worst job in america is…crack whore”
Wow. My job is more stressful than a parole officer? I’m in the wrong biz!
Assistant crack whore is much worse.
Where “mathemagician” at?
I was at Wal-Marts the other day to get some light bulbs b/c one of my outside lights burned out. I use 60 watt bulbs in these fixtures. Wait, maybe I’m not allowed anymore… There were zero 60 watt bulbs being sold. Instead I’m being offered 52 watt bulbs. What’s up, GE?
First off, I need a nice, round number. 52? Secondly, it’s not like it’s an improved technology, using 52 watts but functioning as my old 60 watt bulb. I’ve not seen any press about this, so I can only go by the packaging, but it says:
So let’s see here… What am I getting out of this? Only less light. But why do I need light outside at night? Maybe I’ll just shut off the lights altogether and put out a sign that says Welcome Thieves and Coyotes. (Because they can read… both of them.)
But here’s the thing that gets me, and those of you who know me well are not surprised by this: The changeover bugs me. I have 5 lights outside — 2 in the front, 2 on the side, 1 in the back — and I had to replace one of the 2 front bulbs. So even if it’s not perceptible, I know in my head that the light on the right out front is brighter than the light on the left. I’m trying really hard not to fix that…
FYI — This thread was kind of getting out of control so I cleaned it out a little bit and moved a bunch of comments to appropriate threads that didn’t exist at the time they were made.
It’s been years since I read The Onion, but did anyone else used to read Herbert Kornfeld?
Father’s Day is coming up. Or maybe you could find a late Mother’s Day gift… I suppose I shouldn’t make assumptions on what your home life was like growing up…
(Yes, I saw one of these products while watching The Roping Show on RFD TV.)
Not to be confused with the LoveSac, here’s a chair that’s easy on the crouch.
There are some nice action close-ups in the Salli video. You really get to see how the genitals settle right into place. It also made me think of Dr. Roxo.
Encyclopedia entry for beat boxing
You should invest some time into making corrective edits to that. I’d be interested to see what the response would be.
dressing up cats
I’m not going on a safari with all those gay giraffes running around out there!!!
i don’t think people with lots of tatoos should wear crocs
tats and crocs don’t mix!!! Saw some guy wearing them and had a tatoo sleeve all over his arms, looked silly.
Last friday my nieces were at my parents house, and kate got into my old toys (th eg.i. joes, and superheros) and she got them out and was playing with them, and then she had us make up a “wipeout” arena for the toys to go through. It was adoreable.
If you were made out of peanut butter would you eat yourself?
Kev, that was disturbing.
And what series of late-night clicks brought you to that?
madonna defending the gypsies
On the finale of the 10-year anniversary of Who Wants to be a Millionaire, they switched things around and Regis was in the hot seat. He won $50,000 for the charity of his choice, which turned out to be the private high school he went to. “Some parents can’t afford the tuition,” he said. Going to a public school doesn’t make a person a charity case.
http://peopleofwalmart.com/
although sometimes i feel bad for laughing at this
just what i need, an action figure of myself
http://www.be-a-doll.com/index.html
I’ve been watching too dang much GSN. No human should ever have to hear Wilfred Brimley say the word “diabetis” as much as I have.
404 error
unnecessary quotes
this was pretty funny, i tend to use
“unnecessary quotes” from time to time
Kevin, that’s such a lie. You don’t use any punctuation whatsoever.
I do enjoy unnecessary quotation marks though, so thanks for posting this.
i meant when i was talking
Apparently mental disorders are made up.
Wait, what? Skål is a wooden bowl that uses RFID “to sense small, batteryless tags inside or attached to physical objects, toys, dolls and figures. You can fit any toy of suitable size with RFID tags and connect it to your own media content. Skål can play back content from your home media player, home computer or from the internet.”
I’m confused. Skaal is for real? What an odd idea. What will Sweden think of next?
Is it me or has the trend of naming girls after NYC boroughs gotten out of hand? The borough I’m referring to of course is Staten Island. No, actually, it’s Brooklyn. I’ve heard of three personally. In my expert opinion regarding who should be named what, I think the only people named Brooklyn should be WWII soldiers.
Which brings to mind these quotes
Cotton Hill: I could only save three of my buddies: Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of like you fellas [to Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer], only one of them was from Brooklyn.
Cotton Hill (to a Jewish man): I knew one of your tribe in Dubya Dubya Two. Name of Brooklyn. You know him?
A patient and his wife made me laugh today. A patient came in to be seen for shortness of breath, or so we though. The patient’s wife was talking for the patient and answering our questions. The story snowballed from each encounter his wife had with the ER staff into thus: he’s been confused for “months”. Anyways, the doctor wanted to assess the patient’s neurological status and asked him his favorite question “Hey, you know that Mickey Mouse fellow? Was he a cat or a dog?”
The patient said “Um, I think he was a cat”. The doctor replied “that Mickey MOUSE was a cat?”
The patient’s wife then said “Oh hunny, you know that old Mickey Mouse was a dog!”. And that old lady was serious.
Thanks, Goatee Saver
http://www.cracked.com/blog/a-touching-childrens-book-written-while-high/
They should have made this into a movie instead of Where the Wild Things Are.
http://www.childrenslaughter.com/
finally a site for children slaughter..
Why do I feel like that should be a category on celebrity jeopardy and that Sean Connery or Burt Reynolds should be involved…
That’s pretty good, Kevin.
Ms. Margolis writes a book called “Boys are Dogs” but if someone wrote the obvious opposite-sex version, she’d probably get all mad.
http://www.amazon.com/Boys-Are-Dogs-Leslie-Margolis/dp/1599903814/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257468582&sr=8-1
I love wikipedia…i mean where else can you find a list of animals with fraudulent diplomas.
here it is if you ever need it
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cats_with_fraudulent_diplomas
cats for gold
25 Incredible Photos Made Without Photoshop
http://2leep.com/news/1569/107/0/5/
blog of blogs
Black People Love Us!
For you coupon clippers.
I still think there’s something to be said about going out of your way to buy things you don’t want/need just because they’re on sale. It would be interesting to see how much of her shopping falls into that category.
I get a lot of stuff that I don’t want/need if it’s free or nearly free. I figure someone at the food pantry will appreciate it.
I’ve always said if you are going to honor the Aborigines don’t do it through ice dancing
http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/vancouver/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/Russian-ice-dance-tribute-to-Aborigines-offensiv;_ylt=AjoCcx2LXo8xpC4saG1HDj9otLV_?urn=oly,215206
is it me or does that guy look like conan o’brien
These are interesting:
http://karakullake.blogspot.com/2010/01/2010-census-psa-ad-starring-ed-begley.html
That was good, Scott. Here’s the YouTube channel with all the videos.
This guy’s outfit is pretty great. I can just hear him screaming, Corky, we love you!
Please tell me I am not the only person who didn’t know this until now.
I wonder what this guys girlfriend thinks of his weird behavior. I do admire him for standing up to PETA though.
Although i must admit the highlight of the winter olympics has been the female figure skating
in particular Tanith Belbin, and in action smiling at me i assume.
giant rabbit, also you can tell the girl is british by looking at her teeth
I was trying to find out if Vermont was really a separate country once (a quiz on sporcle.com told me so), and the religion facts really jumped out at me. 84 percent Christian to 55 percent in less than twenty years? Weird, wild stuff.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vermont
http://trololololololololololo.com/
http://friendsofirony.com/
these are weird
http://pictureisunrelated.com/
https://twitter.com/ShitMyDarthSays ( a take on s*** my dad says except it is by “darth vader”)
my fav: “Who painted these fireballs on the side of my fighter ship? I said I wanted it flame-retardant, not flame-retarded.”
http://www.funnyordie.com/between_two_ferns
zach galifiankies
random graphs
http://graphjam.com/2010/04/07/funny-graphs-winners-miss-universe/
http://graphjam.com/2010/03/24/funny-graphs-react-aspergers/
http://graphjam.com/2010/03/22/funny-graphs-whale-sharks/ (whale sharks could be a team name since he asks that question a lot)
http://failblog.org/2010/04/16/epic-fail-video-interviewee-fail/#comments
old posters a little thunder dan for you at the bottom scott
http://joesportsfan.com/?p=12104
http://mostawesomestthingever.com/
And your 2012 Olympic mascot is… this crap.
Kang and Kodos should be happy at least.
Whoa – Bill, did you make a star trek reference? I actually had to double check to make sure it wasn’t Seth that posted that.
1) I loved Star Trek and TNG
2) That was a Simpsons reference anyway
1.) Then you should have played star trek online with me.
2.) I asked the internet wtf you were talking about, since I don’t watch The Simpsons. Turns out those characters are a star trek reference. so you made an unintentional star trek reference. Suck it Trebek.
Does anyone else find it just as ignorant to use a term like “Muslim descent” (as if Islam is an ethnicity) as it is to think all Middle Easterners are terrorists?
Scott, two things:
Yes, I think “Muslim descent” is stupid, for those reasons. And two, I find it interesting that you’re reading articles about Prince of Persia. Additional note, I’ve been interested in the game but haven’t had the pleasure.
We had to take some BS anti-harrassment training at work and in one of the “do not do” videos a dude was telling a joke about a gay marine. And one of the rationales for saying it was harrassment was because it was an assault on the protected category of “veteran status”. I thought that was pretty wonderful.
It’s my last night at The Dispatch before my mandatory 5-week break, which they use to classify me as a “seasonal employee”. In a way it will suck, but I’m gonna look on the bright side and enjoy 5 weeks of no beotching by the copy editors about how awful their full-time, benefit-laden jobs are.
anyone want to come over to my bedroom and wrestle
MMA bed for those who don;t know MMA stands for Mixed Martial Arts
http://www.latisse.com/
The FDA is officially the devil.
Stuff you don’t want to google:
alex trebek images
pete rose haircut
i got a new phone today..my old one broke in half when i threw it.
Anyway i can now send and view pictures so i can start sexting all the time!
update on jerry revish
Jerry Revish
@Jerry10TV The days of landlines are dead, esp for younger people. My Grandmama still has her rotary phone. Imagine that.
Not sure where this goes but here’s Ben Franklin’s list of words that mean “drunk.”
This one could also be filed under a list of words that mean “gay”.
I’ve always felt about Ben Marrison, Dispatch editor, the same way most employees probably feel about their boss, i.e., “He’s an idiot.” But I thought this was a pretty awesome:
• An Upper Arlington school nurse sent an e-mail to her colleagues bragging that she had canceled her newspaper subscription because of “biased coverage.” One of her friends forwarded her e-mail. We accept that people can vote with their wallets. We also understand that taxpayers who disagree with her can’t cancel their taxes that help pay her $83,000 salary.
http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/insight/stories/2011/03/06/our-reports-on-sb5-are-nonpartisan.html?sid=101
I mean, give me a break. I’m not averse to unions or public schoools, but if you’re so arrogant to think that no one can dare question the fact that taxpayers should fund a school nurse to the tune of $83,000 a year, then I don’t have the slightest bit of sympathy for you.
http://nowaygirl.com/hairstyles-2/hairline-gone-wrong/
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42784426/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/?GT1=43001
“It’s excruciatingly painful and permanently damaging surgery that’s forced on men when they’re at their weakest and most vulnerable,” he told Reuters.
It’s forced on men? I mean, I know my parents did it to me when I was 23, but I thought I was an exception.
Some of these are pretty funny… what some students lack in brains, others make up for in creativity…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUEcaAc6LC8&feature=player_embedded
Headline of the day:
GOP chief wants Weiner out
So now that he looks like a full-on lesbian, do you supposed my girls at work will stop saying his name over and over?