First The Pyramids, Now This
Last week I went to one of the local Asian markets with my friend, Stinky. Of course this was a good chance to scout around for quality engrish, score some Men’s Pocky, and try out a new, refreshing beverage from a far-away land. This is the story of one such beverage.
Actually it’s a very short story. As I’ve stated before, I will drink anything blue. Blue is the most refreshing flavour known to man and beast. So I purchased a blue soft drink at this Asian marquet. I must assume it’s a soda. I really have no idea. The glass bottle is kinda shaped like an alien, and there’s a palm tree on the front. I can’t read the chicken scratch that’s all over it, so between the language and the rest of the bottle, I am forced to assume that this was left in the store by aliens from some tropical planet. Oh, via Maspeth, NY. There is a sticker with distribution/nutritional information in English…
Here’s the problem though: I can’t get the bottle open. There was a perforated plastic cover, but after removing it I was left with some sort of Yaponese puzzle. There’s a removable plastic cap, with some sort of tube down the center of it. The top of the bottle itself is covered in a blue plastic cap, with a glass bubble in the centre. I’m thoroughly confused. And of course now I’m convinced that this will be the most pleasurable (wrong word?) beverage of all time, so I must find a way to access this sweet nectar of the stars.
See the following pictures:
So I’m essentially looking for suggestions as to how I should go about opening this.
Why do I think you need to cut the blue thing off somehow? Maybe that lets you twist or shatter the underlying glass? Or maybe you just break it at the neck.
Okay, so it looks like this mysterious space beverage is not so mysterious & most likely not from space. It’s called Ramune. The round bit of glass on the top is actually a little glass marble that’s held in place by the pressure of the carbonation in the bottle. Here’s a diagram of how I’m supposed to open it:
Of course now the soda’s warm so back into the fridge it goes…
That’s really an unnecessary level of complexity for a beverage container. I’m disappointed in my Asians. I honestly expected something a little more efficient than this.
I’m pretty sure you’ll drink this too – I know I would. Just straight shots of it. Or possibly on the rocks.
And here’s the page it’s from:
http://www.i-mockery.com/shorts/butterworth/default.php
There are many that adore blue foodstuffs. We should really form some sort of society.