Go Away
Mondays suck. Perhaps we should start the week in the negative way that we instinctively want…
How about this: give me your list of famous (or semi-famous) people who need to go away. Such a person might be a movie or TV star, musician, clueless yutz who stumbled into the limelight, slutty hotel heiress… you get the picture. Take your grumpiness out on the popular. List as many as it takes.
I’ll stick to a top ten, as my list could get very long:
1. Robert Byrd
2. Johnny Depp
3. Hillary Clinton
4. John Kerry (traitor!)
5. Sharon Stone
6. Tim Robbins
7. Susan Sarandon
8. Bashar al-Asad
9. Jesse Jackson
10. Al Sharpton
This thread is similar to my Things to Outlaw post, but this one focuses more on particular people…
Okay, I’m just gonna have to keep adding these as I think of them. This’ll get me started though:
Britney Spears
John Stewart
Oprah
Those “Queer Eye” guys (sorry Mikey)
Jesse Jackson
P. Diddy
The Black Guy From American Idol
#43 (not “Dick” Petty)
The Fat Dixie Chick
1. Paris Hilton
2. Anyone who associates with her.
3. Professional sports. I love watching sports but it makes me sick hearing people who make millions of dollars a year complain about being able to feed their families (Latrell Sprewell) or other wise being underpaid. Hopefully the NHL lockout gives the other sports owners and athletes a wake up call.
4. Michael Jackson
maybe more to follow…
In no particular order:
- Martin Sheen
- Sean Penn
- Bono (love the band though)
- Ralph Nader
- Katie Couric (ever notice that you can tell if she is doing a “serious” interview by whether she is wearing her glasses or not?)
- The brilliant minds at Fox that cancelled “Andy Ritcher Controls the Universe,” “Family Guy,” and maybe “Arrested Development” but give us “Life on a Stick” and “Quadruplets”
Ben Stiller (I think he’s funny, but he has been in way too many movies lately)
- The gay guy who won American Idol
- Tim McGraw and all his “pop-country” ilk
- 50 Cent and all his ilk
- The 3C Body Shop guy
- The guy with the way out of control vibrato who sings the “Strader’s Garden Center” ad song
People who use the word “ilk.” Sorry. Had too.
Paris Hilton
Ashton Kutcher
Fred Ricart
Denzel Washington
All people on all reality shows involving:
– singing
– models
– fashion design
All people on all remaining reality shows
I’m famous, or at least semi-famous?
Touche. I forgot my own rules.
Michael Jackson
Maurice Clarrett
The Rev. Jesse Jackson
Melissa Etheridge
Sen. Edward Kennedy
pretty good lists except for John Stewart, Bill he is cool.
Sean Hannity (basically most pundit who drive the same issue down our throats over and over, hannity is the first one to come to mind)
Bob And Tom (105.5 should play more rock, less talk)
Barry Bonds
That is all i can think of right now
Have to say, I appreciate Sean Hannity. He’s a Christian, too, Kevin.
I don’t know who this Sean Hannity is, but I do know that God is not always quick to heal the annoying.
More Lewis Black, less John Stewart.
You’re right about Stewart but I couldn’t disagree more about Black. I don’t like Stewart, but I can’t stand Lewis Black. Given the choice, I would rather sit through Stewart.
stewart is funny.
1. Oprah
The rest in no particular order:
Geraldo Rivera
Carson Daily
Michael Jackson
Paula Abdul
Gilbert Gottfried
Martha Stewart
Miss Cleo
Hilary Clinton
Kirstie Alley
Bill O’Reilley, Bud Selig, Rod Parsley, Kirstie Alley, All radio personalitites except for Bill Cunningham and Jim Rome (Stern, Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Hannity, Mike McConnell, Frankin – all obnoxious bags of hot air), Maurry Povich and his paternity testing shows, Nancy Grace (she might be numero uno on my list).
Ky, are you allowed to share your story w/ us?
This is a conversation I had with a mother (I’ll call her Pam) for whom I was trying to establish a child support order for. This conversation took place in the hallway outside of the courtroom before we went in to court:
Me: Hello, my name is Kyle Keener, assistant county prosecutor for child support. We are here today to establish a child support order for your child Little Johnny against your husband Tom.
Pam: I don’t know why you want to establish a child support against Tom. Maurry said that Frank is the dad of Little Johnny
Me: Maurry?
Pam: Maurry Povich
Me: “The” Maurry Povich from TV?
Pam: Yes.
Me: You were on his show?
Pam: Yes. Me, Little Johnny, Frank and a couple other guys were on his show to figure out who Little Johnny’s dad was, and Maurry said it was Frank.
Me: Did Maurry do DNA testing on everyone who was on the show?
Pam: Yes.
Me: How about your husband Tom, was he on the show?
Pam: No, I didn’t tell Maurry I was married.
Me: OK, well, do you have a copy of the genetic test report that says Frank is the dad of Little Johnny?
Pam: No, Maurry still has them.
Me: Maurry didn’t give you a copy?
Pam: Yes, but I lost it. I’ve been trying to get a copy from Maurry, but he won’t get back to me. I do have a copy of the shows.
Me: I’m afraid that’s not going to be good enough. We will have to do a DNA test on you, your husband Tom and Little Johnny.
Pam: That’s good because I thik Maurry was wrong. He just wanted a good reaction for TV.
Me: Well, I’m glad things will work out.
paul begala (sp?) and robert novak the guys from crossfire
That Sprint PCS guy
That Geico guy
That Miller beer voice-over guy
Bart Millard
Martha Stewart
Oprah/Phil
Ellen
Howard Stern
“Smiling Bob” (that dude what has the ED)
Mark Cuban
Effective commercial series — The HH Gregg Movers
I realize I could get flamed for this (seriously, no pun intended), but for a long while the NY fire dept. Yes, they showed courage, yes they saved lives, yes, many of them died in the process. But weren’t they doing what they’re paid to do? I mean, there’s a lot of boys’ club hanging out & eating pizza to the typical firefighter’s schedule. And a lot of the firefighters I’ve known/seen look like they couldn’t make it up three flights of stairs much less carry a person out of a burning building. These guys got a call that they had to take and (most of them, at least, so it seems) they did their job. I guess I kinda see it like the Army Reserve folks who signed up for the free college and are mad that they had to fulfill their obligation to serve (not that the firefighters are complaining). Did they do something heroic? Most of them, yes. Do they deserve action figures, cartoons, and bumper stickers on every other car? No.
And while I’m saying things that will make people hate me, and since we’re talking about 9/11, the “Let’s Roll” lady couldn’t annoy me more. Hey, way to capitalize on your dead husband’s dated slang. Whatever.
michael Moore
http://www.moorelies.com/
That Dannon Frusion Smoothy guy…”Trade in your breakfast!”
i esp dislike the lady who has a box of doughnuts and says, “can i have a dozen?”
I especially like a dozen donuts. Even one donuts are nice. Nicer than a stupid smoothie, at least…
Johnny Diloretto from fox28/abc “newscenter” this guy is an idiot
well pretty much everything on newcenter is bad though
I would be happy if I never again heard someone refer to an athlete by a shortened version of their name…for one thing, it’s a little overly familiar, like an premature “It’s me” phone relationship…for another thing, some of them are just annoying. Specifically, I’m thinking of:
Lil’ E
A-Rod, K-Rod, etc.
Shaq
T.O.
And, yes, I’m using the term “athlete” loosely in talking about “Lil’ E”.
I don’t like that guy who does the commercial for freecreditreport.com, you know the guy with the 720 credit score who thinks he’s better than me!!
and yes “lil E” is an athlete.
What about Tiny E?
“Look at that steering wheel. It’s huge!”
“You’re the king, Tiny E.”
This one’s more of a “glad this tool *went* away”
I’d like to thank Comedy Central for reminding me how much I hate John Leguizamo.
Some of you may disagree w/ this, but here it goes: Adam Sandberg, go away.
You’re getting ready to say, “but Bill, you praised him for Lazy Sunday, you practically said it was the best SNL skit of the decade.” Well that’s true, but I don’t give him the credit. I’ve always loved it when Parnell raps. Sandberg was just there.
Not only do I see nothing special in Adam Sand(ler)berg, he’s most definitely crossed over the line & is now actively annoying me. So go away.
I freaking hate adam sandberg he sucks,
however i don;t mind andy samberg too much, he can be funny.
Okay, so you know what? I hate him so much I refuse to commit his name to memory. So there. Sheesh…
Kirstie Alley: Okay, you’re fat. We get it.
ok that is so seriously insensitive, but hilarious.
Not insensitive. I don’t care if she’s fat. She will never be more than a far second to Diane anyway. Point is, *she’s* the one who won’t shut up about it.
Yeah I totally got that…just thought it was funny. Totally can’t stand the chick myself
Y’know…no sooner did Britney go away…(kind of) that Jessica Simpson took over. Ok, I get it, but if I have to see her on another magazine in the checkout line I’m going to scream like a girl. That pretty much goes for Jennifer Aniston too…
Amen brother! You are preachin to the choir here.
With all due respect and apologies to any fans of his, this dude’s voice on his popular song is like nails on a chalkboard, except much less pleasant.
http://www.jamesblunt.com/
Ok sorry if you like him but I am going to have to add Daniel Powter. So what! You had a bad day! MOVE ON!!!!
For some reason I can’t stand that Allstate guy:
“That’s Allstate’s staaaand. Are you in good haaaands?”
The Pepsi commercials where the Pepsi can plays poker, the pop machine catches footballs, is just flat-out retarded. It needs to go away. I’m surprised they even approved to release those commercials. Maybe that’s why I like Coke.
I am sooooooooo tired of the White Castle commercial where the guys friend sends him the empty white castle boxes in a zip lock bag because the dude doesn’t have a white castle where he is. Then he realizes there is a new garlic cheese or something like that. That commercial is so overplayed.
Amy, I couldn’t agree more. First time I saw it – it was ok. The next 542,005,481,516,234,200 times I saw it it got annoying. I stand by my point from the bad commercials thread:
I hope for their ad agency’s part they are getting some good ROI. Although, even if I liked White Catsle, I wouldn’t eat there becasue the commercials are so annoying.
Newscasters, reporters, columnists and bloggers that use the term “Al-Qaeda in Iraq” as if it were a Proper noun. e.g., “Reports indicate that Al-Qaeda in Iraq detonated an IED. Al-Qaeda in Iraq captured 3 civilians. No one has been invited to Al-Qaeda in Iraq’s birthday party.”
I’m not sure exactly why they feel a need to add the “in Iraq”, but it feels like they’re trying to divest the actions of Al-Qaeda within that country from the actions of the terrorists elsewhere, as if Zarqawi’s successor and his cronies are “rogue” and are doing things that terrorists elsewhere wouldn’t.
If my assumptions are correct, instead of just “going away” as this thread suggests, I recommend that the above users-of-the-term should head to Ramadi and see how things are going for themselves.
Hopefully everyone is thinking this and just hasn’t posted it. I’ll go ahead and do so.
Taylor Hicks and the Ford Motor Co.
While I agree with you Scott on the Ford commercial I don’t think he should go away completely. He has an excellent song out right now called “Do I make you proud” It’s pretty good. I will pause while everyone makes fun of me for being an American Idol supporter.
I refuse to do a quick search, but is this Taylor Hicks the so-called most eligible bachelor I’ve seen on the mag rack in the check-out line of my local Kroger Sav-On? Dude has a creepiness that I just can’t quite put my finger on. A somewhat subtle creepiness. The most dangerous kind… He definitely has a shovel in the trunk of his Ford.
Hey! I never said he was a hottie. Dudes with grey hair just don’t do it for me. But he seems pretty nice. Don’t be a hater to things you just don’t understand :)
I have tried to hold off posting this for as long as I could. I can’t wait any longer….
If I have to hear one more thing about Star Jones or the View I am going to scream. First off so what! You got fired! No one likes you! GO FIGURE!
Next, I already talked to Bill about this but does anyone else think she is prettier heavy. I mean congrats on the weight loss. But geesh…she looks scary now.
I agree that she looks pretty danged scary.
Also, I’m not sure congrats are in order, because didn’t she just get the lipo/gastric bypass/whatever they do these days?
OK Scott I think you are right. Here is a before and after. Either way SCARY!!!
Here is the before:
Here is after:
Maurice Clarrett….again….still.
Angelina Jolie….I mean, c’mon, lips or no lips, they’ve beaten this horse to death.
I couldn’t agree more with you as long as they take Brad Pitt too. I have yet to find him attractive. Well then again I am not attracted to her either :0)
I think David Hasselhoff(I don’t know how to spell it) should go away too. He ruined my talent show with his song. Sadly enough I was humming it at work the next day. Darn that Hasselhoff!!
I like that phrase…….Darn that Hasselhoff! I’m going to adopt that.
Even just “Hasselhoff!” makes a good exclamation.
I charge for my brilliant phrases. Copyrights a pain but it’s that or get a real job :-)
Um yeah…I went to Applebee’s today with my girls and the David Hasselhoff song played. I almost tossed my salad ;-)
Sorry, I know they’re for good causes, but those so-popular-they’re-obnoxious bracelets
I can’t even bring myself to say the name, so I’ll just say “John Bennett”
the phrase “years young”
He doesn’t even have any annoying qualities, but Peyton Manning has to go away because I decree that five commercials on television concurrently is enough.
I don’t know if you can tell a bread to Go Away, but the whole ciabatta craze is making me cross. Do I like ciabatta? Sometimes. Do I think we need pizzas w/ ciabatta crust? No.
You can tell bread to do anything you want.
Not to be like Peter Griffin, who writes letters to *movies*, but… umm, Jackass The Movie… Didn’t we already tell you to go away? Multiple times?
T.O., I didn’t mean it literally…
Kirstie Alley and those Jenny Craig commercials. Is it just me, or is Kirstie still quite large?
Kirstie Alley and those Jenny Craig commercials. Is it just me, or is Kirstie still quite large?
I KNOW! In total agreement with you there. It’s like they have an entire behind the scenes team to conspire on how to make those commercials as annoying as possible. I’m really not sure if anyone on earth (except maybe her mother) cares how Kirstie Alley’s diet is going, or wants to see her lust for the pool boy.
Darren, it’s funny that you would bring
Kristy,Christi,Curtsy,Krusty, no, Kirstie? Anyway, it’s funny you would bring her up again. Look at my comment above from March. It would appear that she has not yet gone away…Kirstie, we really don’t care if you’re thick or not quite as thick. Just take it somewhere else, fatty.
“Rebecca, I believe this puts you in the lead.” — Robin Colecourt
Steven King (thanks Bill)
You’re scared of the dark. We get it. You keep telling the same, tired stories, over and over again.
Oh, except that one where the Buick 8 was a possessed car. You hadn’t ever done THAT one before.Well played…
madonna
Amen! I second that one….she took over the front page of my favorite magazine ….It’s great she adopted but people adopt everyday and they don’t make magazine covers. I have truthfully(not that anyone cares) :-) never liked her in the first place.
What???? Am I the only one shocked by the Spears/Federline divorce? So it was just revealed today and I am already sick of hearing. I am still recovering from the Lachey/Simpson divorce. :-)
Hadn’t heard. But hey, the man’s got a serious career to consider there…
Yeah..K-fed single…..there is no stopping him now
Ted Strickland. (too early?)
Gonna be a loooong six years.
The phrase “the so and so of tomorrow…today”
needs to go away. I’ve heard it twice today on two separate commercials. and i thought i only had to deal with it when it came to dipping dots.
those darn black eyed peas should all just die…
I’ve noticed that Randy Spelling (son of Aaron Spelling) is trying to pull in some media attention for himself. If I ever have any questions about how to manage my life as a spoiled, self-important billionaire, you’ll be my first pick. Otherwise, let’s go our separate ways.
i poo-pooed on Johnny Diloretto from fox28/abc “newscenter” earlier in this thread, but i should mention that he was at the sweet corn festival this morning doing the show and he did put a few of my cross country kids on the TV. So that was nice of him.
Not shocked about this one. Time to hang up that career.
http://www.wbns10tv.com/?sec=&story=sites/10tv/content/pool/200709/2128253100.html
jose canseco
Hulk Hogan’s ex & family
http://omg.yahoo.com/news/brooke-hogan-calls-press-jerks-for-saying-she-skipped-bros-b-day/11352?nc
brooke is probably the most normal of the hogans, she should skip her brothers bday he is in jail and just about killed his friend. i am mildly ashamed that i know this info, i learned it all on the chelsea handler show.
Brendan Frasier. 1. He’s a horrible actor. 2. How many Mummy movies can one person do?
The only movie he was mildly amusing in was Encino Man but only b/c he acted retarded.
Wait, I’m confused. I thought Pauly Shore was the retarded guy in Encino Man…
True. Brendan was the caveman. I just meant he acted goofy. He doesn’t play a very good tough guy. He tries to be too much like Indiana Jones.
No, I know. Dude sucks. I suppose this is the only thing that he’ll ever have that he can milk, so he’d better do it now. Sad thing is, I’d probably watch those movies if it wasn’t for him… I know I saw the first one… Don’t think I saw the 2nd.
The second one was on TV last night. I made it halfway through. The only reason I even watched that much was to see the special effects. Those movies would be great if they had someone good playing his role. He sucks.
That’s what happens when you spend your entire budget on FX. Acting and writing suffers. How many times have we seen that? (A lot, I know, but examples aren’t coming to mind just now…)
Kevin, your info on Brooke Hogan cracks me up for some reason. I agree that the whole family should just disappear.
Personally, I want the entire cast of the Hills wiped off the planet. Why are these people famous? I don’t care whether Heidi and Spencer are mad at LC, or if Audrina and Lo don’t get along. And this is coming from someone who used to list Laguna Beach (the precursor to the Hills) as my ultimate guilty pleasure!
Okay, but see what you’ve done here, Erin, is show us that you know too much about this Hills show. You know too many names for this to be casual hatred. You should know no more than what Joel McHale and The Soup have told you. I’m afraid you’ve just lost your TV privileges…
And Kevin, you’re on thin ice for your knowledge of the Hogan family, but citing your source does help.
I knew someone would call me on that. Joel McHale is the source for most of my Hills info, though I do admit to the bad habit of reading Perez Hilton from time to time. That’s a habit that I am (honestly) trying to break.
Can I please have my TV privileges back? I promise to stick to good stuff like The Office and Mad Men from now on!
All i know about spencer is he has a “creepy flesh-colored beard”
I like Brendan Frasier.
Seriously? What do you like about him? He doesn’t play a tough guy well, and his attempt to be funny sucks. So the combination of the two in one movie is just horrendous.
He was good in With Honors… that was a pretty solid movie. His cutesy stuff is brutal though- like George of the Jungle and Blast from the Past…. Oh yes, I’ve seen them both, repeatedly. My dad thought they were good family fun.
Okay, everybody stop saying “Rickroll.” It’s getting annoying.
Besides, URL obfuscation is a complete breech of trust and no laughing matter.
I’m also tired of the song periodically surfacing in my head.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65I0HNvTDH4
It’s been about a week since i’ve heard anything about ”jon and Kate” and that makes me happy. Cuz i hate them.
Why hasn’t Kanye been arrested for Cocaine abuse yet? Isn’t it obvious at this point? As fas as I’m concerned that man should just go away.
Hey Kanye, way to cheapen your first infantile tirade. When he claimed that Bush doesn’t care about black people b/c of Katrina, as absurd a statement as it was, a lot of people cheered him on. But now that he also does the same thing when the person he’s rooting for doesn’t get a video music award, everything he “stood for” the first time is discarded as the obvious ravings of an ill-mannered racist. What an idiot. All of you people who applauded his tantrum the first time, I hope you feel stupid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxKIcrDsJAs&feature=player_embedded#t=12
I’mma Let You Finish
This one is kinda funny, although long.
with your help rod parsley can make it through this crisis
Wow.
Some things really annoy me about that article, Kevin.
How does Rod Parsley have the authority to divy out “blessings” if people send him money? And what is a blessing, according to Rod? “God’s favor, good health, and stress-free homes”. In my opinion, there is nothing I can do to gain God’s favor. I’m a sinner and am only counted as something because of Christ’s death on the cross. How is good health a blessing? If being healthy is a blessing does that mean people with cancer are cursed? For Christians, death is the gateway into heaven, so in a way death could be considered a blessing. Has there ever been a stress-free home? Every home has some form of dysfunction, and oftentimes people need stress in their life to learn and grow (and not be completely boring).
Is it right for a church to sue someone? I tend to think not. The only verse I found on that was from Matthew 5:40 which says “And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.”
Also, if anyone ever touched my child in a way that left “welts and abrasions”, I probably wouldn’t sue them for $3.1 million, I’d beat the living daylights out of them.
I think what frustrates me the most about this guy is that a lot of people assume that he represents the typical Christian in America.
Double Wow. Very well articulated, Mary. I agree – - we must speak up or the majority of the folks will continue to assume he is the typical Christian.
Our “basketball preview form” from the Grandview coach consisted of an e-mail which basically consisted of misspelling several of his own players’ names and saying that Rod would have to pony up more cash or his team would have to settle for sharing the MSL Cardinal title again, like last year. On the one hand I agreed with his assessment of Harvest Prep, but on the other hand I thought, gee, poor coach of a team from Grandview, ranked 101st in per capital income in Ohio (out of 1065). Whereas Sugar Grove (also with a school in the MSL Cardinal) is 870th. And Millersport is so small they can’t field a JV team.
The prosperity gospel has all these neat lines like: money is power, why wouldn’t God want his people to have the power to do good with money instead of the evil that non-Christians do? I’ll admit, that has a logic to it that for a time (a few weeks, about 5 years ago) really got me enticed.
But when you look deeper into it (which is to say, look at all) you see that it just doesn’t add up.
Why do I despise the prosperity gospel? Because my version of prosperity is not His vision for prosperity. And I’d rather have His vision than my own.
Barack Obama News Did anybody see this coming?
Which once again proves my old theory: Germans love David Hasselhoff.
Obviously Pat Robertson can go away.
Luke Wilson. Sorry.
Smart phones. Really sorry.
Flo
Those insecure girls on the iPhone 4 commercials (Yeah, your hair is shorter than you wanted it to be…we get it)
scott hatred of new cell phone technologies has been noted
Heh. I didn’t laugh until I scrolled up one last comment and noticed that before iPhone and smart phone was Luke Wilson, which I suppose does complete the set.