Age

As I approach my *cough*33rd*cough* birthday, I’m reminded of how old you’re all getting. And with age comes the crotchety, “back in my day” attitude, a longing for the way things used to be, and bull-headed resistance to the new-and-improved. But I think discussing such things is good for the humors, and I’d like to use the outdated technology that’s running my site to give you the opportunity to do just that.

So this can be a thread for “boy, am I getting old” ponderings, but I specifically wanted to keep track of things that just aren’t the same anymore. So changes in technology, trends, outdated versus new ways of doing things, etc. This is as broad as it sounds, so feel free to toss in anything that seems like it might fit.

But for example, here are a few things that just aren’t the same anymore:

The memoir is dying. People don’t communicate via letters anymore. So who will compile my correspondence and publish my memoirs, thus thoroughly invading my privacy long after I’ve died? This is why I’ve saved all of my email since my very first account, and why I was very glad to see Google start the “near unlimited” space trend for mail users, hopefully encouraging people to hang on to their messages. Email will be the new memoir, folks, so don’t delete after you read. Some day you’ll enjoy rooting back through your correspondence and reading your old mail, even though you’ll be senile at that point and have no idea who any of these people are. And keeping your mail will also be very helpful to the authorities after you go berserk and murder all those shriners at the state fair. “The butter cow told me to do it,” you’ll say, but the messages you sent to your other personality will be vital in proving the innocence of that delicious, creamy heifer.

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Today is William’s big day — let’s wish him a very happy birthday!!

So today is my birthday. I was hoping it would slip by quietly, without incident, but no dice.

So I woke up yesterday morning w/ the left side of my neck all swollen. I assumed it was just my glands, but they were pretty huge & sore. By this morning, the swelling was all up the side, into my jaw, up to my ear. At this point my main concern was the mumps. But since I’m not a Hawkeye, this didn’t quite make sense, plus it’s just one side…

So I went to the doctor today & found out it’s most likely not mumps, but rather a stone in my parotid gland. That’s kinda gross… The doctor hopes I’ll pass it, but if not they’ll have to fish it out. Which again, is gross. & I don’t wanna think about that right now.

So there’s my birthday affliction. I can say, though, that this is just a fluke & has nothing to due with my aged, failing body.

This probably will end up like the student in Billy Crystal’s class from "Throw Momma From the Train," but out of curiosity, if you were to compile a list of actresses (or for the ladies or those fellows who live in the Short North district, actors) that look darn good for their age, who would you include?  I thought of this after seeing a commercial for Julia Louis Dreyfus’ new comedy.  She looks better now then she did on SNL and the early days of Senfield.   Oh, and the actress from "Under the Tuscan Sun", Diane Lane, has to be number one with a bullet on my list.