Lebowski

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Well folks, today was a big day for me. I closed on my first house. Most of you know that I grew up out in the country, out around Achey Breaky Buckeye Lakey. Many of you also know that ever since I moved into the city for school over a decade ago I’ve been trying to get back out that way, or at least out in the country in some direction. So after many off-and-on periods of house hunting I’ve finally settled on one, and I pulled the trigger today. I have officially signed away my soul to the bank, and the house is now mine (well, mostly the bank’s I guess).

So what’s the new place like? Rural, old, plain, secluded… pretty much what I wanted. The property itself is around seven acres, but it’s surrounded by hundreds of acres of farm land, so it feels much bigger. The house is surrounded by corn fields, which should be fun during the summer, and especially the fall. (However, I vaguely recall getting lost in a corn field as a child, so I guess I’ll have to keep an eye out for that…) There’s plenty of room for livestock, so I’ll be getting back to my roots and hopefully have some cattle loitering about before too long. The house was supposedly built in 1890, but there’s not much work that needs done there, as the previous owners upgraded about everything. It could use a patio, so I’ll be exploring that option soon, and of course a nice big front porch would be nice eventually. The barn is a different matter. The top level could use some attention soon, mostly in the roof department. But it should get the job done in the meantime. It is, after all, a barn…

Rudy is all geared up to be a farm dog; Maeby is pretty content just being wherever I am. Regardless, I expect some serious canine frolicking in all directions, so that makes me happy. I’ve told Rudy from day one that he’s not a city dog, so now I finally get to keep that promise.

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Have you all heard of the Craigslist? It’s a useful classifieds site if you wanna sell or buy something, are looking for a job or apartment, shopping for a mate, etc. Craigslist can also be very entertaining since it’s an open mic to everyday freaks. If you’ve ever browsed the Best Of or tried to sell something on CL and received replies, I’m sure you know what I mean.

So for a while I’ve had this idea in my head to submit fake personals to CL and post any humorous replies here. But then I started thinking that it might be more fun if it’s somehow interactive for you folks, and that’s when the Mad Libs part of the idea popped into my head. Here’s how I see the “project” working:

Each round you guys give me words that I have to use in my Craigslist ad. You’re allowed to contribute one word (please be good to me — I have to actually be able to construct an ad out of this) and you won’t know what kind of ad I’ll place or in what city. Once I’ve closed the round from further submissions from you, I’ll do my best to create an ad using your suggestions. After I’ve placed the ad I’ll post it here and also include a link to it on CL. I’ll then post any exceptional replies (removing any personal information, of course) for your viewing pleasure. Rinse, repeat.

You’re also welcome to share interesting CL posts, tell us about experiences you’ve had with personals yourself, or suggest general content or ad types for me to use, although I won’t promise I will. Of course most of the success of The CLML Project will rely on the responses of the public, so we’ll see how it goes…

Yes, it’s voting time again. And since I’ve seen enough grumbling pop up in other threads, I thought I’d just go ahead and piece together an election thread here. Not to take away from Scott’s popular slot machine thread, but I just figured something generic for this, the voter’s holiday season, might be nice.

Of course, this means that I’ve done no work of my own, but that I have moved a few of your related comments to this thread for easy access…

Maybe I only care about myself, and to a slightly lesser degree tackiness, but I think this year’s election just comes down to campaigns — not the content of the person/party’s campaign, but their methods. Whose commercials are poorly done or bugging the crap out of me, who’s sending me the most junk mail, etc. They get my NO vote. I’m smarter than that, but man, I’m so close to just voting out of spite…

Why does it seem like more often than not I’m inspired to vote against someone instead of for someone?

So from the fruits of your labor, here’s your place to gripe about politicians, campaigns, and of course women’s suffrage.

I think I need a quick placeholder for words that, in my head, are always voiced by a particular person/character. You know how you’ll hear someone pronounce a word or phrase a particular way, or in some certain context, & from then on you always hear it as if spoken by that person? That’s what this thread is for. I know I’m not alone on this… Here are a few examples:

Irregardless — Pat Sullivan (Jimmy Fallon — The Boston Teens)
Supercilious — Frank Costanza
Disconfirm — Brandt (The Big Lebowski)

That’s as far as this initial post is gonna go. I hope I’ve given you enough to go off of. Get it on.

Why do you just assume I’m going to make a “coming out of the closet” joke? Why does your mind always go there?

No, my precious chippies, this thread is incestuously related (why do you always go *there* when I use that phase?) to my Bull Shirt thread. The difference here is that I am posting shirts that I actually have. You are welcome to do the same, but I have become such an online t-shirt connoisseur (why must you always giggle & point at the French?) that I felt I should post a top ten list of my favourite shirts that I keep in the front of my closet — when they’re actually washed.

Oh, & I will also take a second to address something here, partially because of the irony in doing so: yes, some of you complain about my so-called ADD & parenthetical stream-of-consciousness in my posts.

Well that’s just all part of the experience, baby. Welcome to my big, beautiful brain…

Okay, where were we… Oh yes. Squirrels. No. Shirts. Got it. Here are my ten best, as of whatever day this is. Why? Because I know you care, you stalkers. [{(Trash day is now Friday, if any of you freaks still need hair samples or toenail clippings.)}]

No, not the one where Pam & Tommy swap hepatitis. Different kind of virus…

It just occurred to me that there’s no really good spot to post the latest videos that are sweeping across the internets, so here’s a thread just for that. Nothing more, nothing less. The Star Wars Kid thanks you…

A catch-all thread for random thoughts may be a bad idea, but if it gets out of hand I can always pull the plug on it…

So generally this will be a junk drawer for randomness that *doesn’t* fit in existing threads & *doesn’t* have potential as threads on their own. So no slacking. Use the search bar to see if your comment fits somewhere else & don’t be a wuss if you have something new & good you really wanna post & you think it’ll work as a new topic. Or at the very least suggest it to me in the Topic Pool, which has received very little love pretty much all year. Coincidentally, I have two posts queued up that are straight from the Topic Pool. (Oh, there’s a queue, baby. Quagmire: “Does this look like a Q to you? How about now?”)

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This probably will end up like the student in Billy Crystal’s class from "Throw Momma From the Train," but out of curiosity, if you were to compile a list of actresses (or for the ladies or those fellows who live in the Short North district, actors) that look darn good for their age, who would you include?  I thought of this after seeing a commercial for Julia Louis Dreyfus’ new comedy.  She looks better now then she did on SNL and the early days of Senfield.   Oh, and the actress from "Under the Tuscan Sun", Diane Lane, has to be number one with a bullet on my list. 

Okay, doing a list of favorite actors is pretty much a must, and long overdue. This list does NOT include actresses. Because they’re women and shouldn’t be working anyway. No, because actresses will be in a separate list later.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but my list is still definitely gonna be subject to change. I *did* try to put it in order though, FYI. So favorite actors of all time, coming up…